head.❤.gut.backbone [my weight loss journey]

This dress did not fit when I bought it in early March. Could...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 10:06:59 -0400

This dress did not fit when I bought it in early March. Could still be a little less right around the bust area but it fits perfectly everywhere else. And omg - pockets! I love my body :)

Gonna run outside for reals today after work. It’ll be hard but I’m ready.

midnightbeliever: Exhausted, yet triumphant face of a gal who...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 23:25:32 -0400

midnightbeliever:

Exhausted, yet triumphant face of a gal who just ran for 10 minutes without stopping for the first time evar!! #c25k

I hate that I can’t set instagram up to post on my side blogs :(

Despite 3.5 months of more-or-less consistent working out and eating pretty well, I have GAINED almost 20 pounds.

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 08:46:00 -0400

Well, this gain is more since August - and I finally put two and two together: August is when I started taking my anti-anxiety/depressant. I remember reading weight gain/difficulty losing as a potential side effect but I didn’t think it would matter if I was actively working toward losing… apparently, I was wrong. I’ve been beating myself up, but the truth of the matter is that I’d rather have my mental health sorted out and have a little extra weight on me vs. still being completely unable to function.

However, I’ve reached a point where I feel like I am in control of my anxiety and depression enough to transition off my meds. So that’s what I’ll be doing in the next few weeks - I have developed some great coping skills, and I’d like to put them to the test without medication helping my brain along. Much of my depression the last few years has manifested during the winter as SADD. I live in a super cloudy, dreary place with looooong winters. No sun = no bueno.

But as mentioned a few days ago on my personal tumblr, I will be moving to CALIFORNIA!!! in just over a month. I know the extra sun and warmth is going to help so much, but this is a leap I’ve been ready and waiting to make for a long time now. I’m moving in with my boyfriend, who is an incredible support system not only for my mental health but my physical - our apartment complex there has a fitness center, a pool and several parks nearby. He wants us to start working with personal trainers and eating clean. It’s going to be just lovely.

In the meantime, I’m going to stop being so hard on myself re: this gain. I’m determined to finish what I started and run that goddamn 5k. Gym tonight, hopefully running outside again later this week. If I don’t push, I will regret it - I know myself that well. And I know the 5k event will be a lot of fun and worth it, even if I can’t run the entire thing all the way through. I have plenty of time left in 2013 to accomplish my goal of running a 5k - San Jose has a ton of them throughout the year :)

Regardless of what the scale says, I love myself and I love my body. The confidence I have today is something I did not possess even a year ago - and that is definitely something to be proud of.

WestCoastRunner is safe and ok

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:44:24 -0400

shrinkingwolf:

rebeccaruns:

runningwithguts:

themotherrunner:

regainingmymoxy:

I just texted with her. Has anyone talked to Rook?

Michelle is okay per Nicole.

I just got an automatic text update from Rook at 40k, so I assume he’s okay.

Thank God everyone is ok. Please reblog so everyone that’s worried can know.

Glad to know they are ok.

C25K: When the going gets tough...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 19:41:29 -0400

I’ve learned a lot about myself since my first breathless attempt at running back at the end of December. I’ve learned I can push myself just a little further when I don’t think it’s possible. I’ve learned there’s a difference between workout music and running music. I’ve learned not to pay too close attention to Judge Judy lest I smack into the front of the treadmill and nearly become The Girl Who Fell Off the Treadmill (every indoor runner’s secret fear). And I’ve learned that sometimes, when it comes to your body, no means absolutely not.

I’ve been trying to get back into the groove of things. And it seems like I’ll have a couple of really great days, followed by a couple of really bad ones. I was doing well, extending into the sixth week of the C25K program when Monday brought something new and terribly distressing to the table: pain. Not just “omg this hurts staahhhhp” pain - no, legit pain emanating from my ankle up into my shin on the right side. I tried stretching longer and adding new stretches before running Wednesday, and that seemed to help a bit. But the pain was still there.

And yesterday, when I made my first attempt at 20 minutes of running… the pain came back and was so unbearably bad that I couldn’t even complete all 10 minutes together, nor could I finish the second 10 with a break inbetween as planned. Bahhh.

It’s entirely frustrating to want my body to do something and have it pretty much refuse. I want to run. I want to beat records and feel as great as I did a few weeks ago, but I feel weaker and tired all the time lately. I’ve started adding some strength training in, to help build my muscles a little more. Not sure if that’s helping or hurting. I’m making adjustments here and there, in hopes that maybe I can find the right combination and get back on track. Because my 5k is rapidly approaching and I had planned on being FINISHED with C25K by now.

And I still have 4 weeks of program left. I won’t give up, but I may have to concede that there will be a bit of walking in my first 5k attempt, whether I like it or not.

Tomorrow’s a new day and my hope is to have a fulfilling and successful run.

Fellow C25Kers: Have you hit any roadblocks during your training? How did you push past?

Update-ish

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 22:03:32 -0400

This strep is one STUBBORN little bugger. I thought I’d kicked it - really did. Didn’t get too much running done last week as I took an amazing trip to San Jose, CA to visit my boyfriend (but we did SO much walking, esp. in San Francisco that I consider my “exercise” portion for the week checked). A canceled flight on Monday prevented me from gymming that day. No problem.

But Tuesday I started feeling even more tired and sick. Wednesday I felt even worse and, instead of going to the gym, went home and slept from 6pm through to 7am the next day. Blarg.

And yesterday, I discovered my strep has returned. So I’m back on another round of antibiotics that HAVE GOT TO WORK THIS TIME MOTHER OF GOD. Giving that the weekend to kick in, but I vow to do some strength or light cardio regardless. Did a bunch of walking today, hoping to keep my activity levels up.

And Monday, it’s back to business. Because OH MY GOD THERE’S LESS THAN 2 MONTHS LEFT UNTIL MY 5K!

And I’m still only a little over halfway through the program. So. Body, you must stop disappointing me!

On a lighter note, can I just say how amazing Northern California is? I was astounded, not only by the beauty of the climate and scenery, but how healthy and energetic the people are. Friendly, too! I saw so many runners and bikers when we went out, and there’s also a really nice fitness center right in my boyfriend’s apartment complex. *sigh*

It was really difficult to fly back to the dreary East Coast. I can’t wait for the day I can finally book my one-way ticket west!

C25K/progress update

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 23:55:00 -0400

Soooo let’s see. I *finally* recovered from strep enough to get back into the gym on Wednesday. I was down for the count for a good week+, though - the first antibiotic they put me on didn’t have an effect, so I had to go back for something stronger.

I decided enough with the repeating bullshit and hit Week 5 pretty hard when I went back on Wednesday. Then I went on Saturday morning and did my longest run ever - 8 minutes max, 18 minutes total. And it was INCREDIBLE! I’ve learned how to pace myself and enjoy the run, without getting caught up on speed or pushing. I’m starting to enjoy the longer runs and dig in, vs. desperately counting down the seconds til I can stop.

Which is good because tomorrow is going to be the toughest run yet: 8 minutes run, 5 minutes walk, 8 minutes run.

I’m still working on fixing my diet to work for me and not against me, but it’s going well. Just have to work on complex carbs before, protein after.

No clue if I’m losing any weight. The scale says no, but I really just don’t care - I look good, I feel good. Once I get over the hurdle of running a 5k, I will refocus on the actual weight loss. For now, I just want to run :)

Naturally, two days after one of my BEST runs ever I would get diagnosed with strep throat

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 01:10:16 -0500

Everything hurts and nothing’s okay. So mad at my body right now.

Mini Update:

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 07:40:56 -0500

I know I haven’t been posting much - it’s not because I’ve given up. In fact, I’ve been more dedicated and working harder than ever. I’m now halfway through the Couch to 5k program and have developed a definite pace and joy for running (even on a treadmill). I’ve made additional gym buddies who are going to help me get back into strength training and teach me more than I’ve already taught myself. I am doing well on cutting back on sugar and processed foods, and I am sticking to 1 cup of coffee or less every day.

I’ve just reached a point where blogging every day isn’t an option. I think I was living too much in my head, and that’s not helpful. So I will try to update often, I promise, but I don’t think it does me any good right now to sit around and talk about what I am doing and when I fail - right now, I just need to live in it. I am losing weight and building muscle and I am getting back to a healthy state of happy.

As always, you can keep up with my progress on myfitnesspal if you want the daily ins and outs. Link is in the sidebar.

2/12 Recap

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 22:29:00 -0500

FOOD/DRINK

Breakfast: Muller Greek yogurt with candied almonds
Midmorning Snack: N/A
Lunch: 2 slices of pepperoni pizza (finally gone!)
Afternoon Snack: Grapes and carrots with hummus
Dinner: All of it came up, so I guess it doesn’t really matter :/
Dessert/Evening Snack: 1/2 cup rum raisin ice cream
Drinks: 48 oz. water; large nonfat latte; tea

EXERCISE

25ish leisurely minutes of walking on lunch (active rest day)

THOUGHTS

So today wasn’t a bad rest day, really. I woke up with my body feeling MUCH less sore - still some residual ab and arm soreness. Ate the last of the pizza, finally, and set out to make myself a fantastic dinner. And it was, fantastic… until I started feeling sick. So, a few years ago I tried scallops for the first time and got sick. Being a long-time seafood aficionado, I chalked it up to just one food that my tummy didn’t like and kept trucking. Then shrimp started bothering me in 2011. Ugh.

Now I guess it’s extended to more sea creatures, including tilapia, because I got major stomach cramps and my tongue felt funny and I ended up throwing the whole lot up. Double ugh.

I’m going to see my doctor soon, so I’ll add that to the list of things to discuss with him. *sigh*

Hopefully I’ll be good as new tomorrow so I can do W4D2 of C25K!

Just registered/created my team for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k!

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 11:49:03 -0500

It’s real now, folks!

2/11 Recap

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 20:41:23 -0500

FOOD/DRINK

Breakfast: Muller Greek yogurt with honeyed apricot; 1 banana
Midmorning Snack: 2 clementines, ~2 tablespoons Earth Balance coconut peanut spread (actually getting kinda sick of this stuff lol… overload!)
Lunch: Leftovers! 4.5 oz. chicken breast with corn & edamame succotash; chocolate chip cookie
Afternoon Snack: Medium gala apple; Zone Perfectly Simple cranberry almond bar
Dinner: Green protein shake (banana, protein powder, almond milk, spinach, peanut butter) + 1 slice of pepperoni pizza
Dessert/Evening Snack: N/A
Drinks: 64 oz. water; 2 cups of coffee

EXERCISE

C25K Week 4, Day 1

THOUGHTS

Oh. my. god. My muscles hate me right now. I was super sore all day from yesterday’s strength training… and then I took my body on a treadmill run. Tomorrow will almost definitely be an active rest day. Was going to do more strength, but I don’t really think I should put my muscles through much more, especially with an even longer run coming up on Wednesday. But it’s been an excellent couple of days and I’m so thrilled to feel my body working after a few days of nothingness.

I think I may have perfected my green smoothie. Much as I loved blueberries, I think I like banana and peanut butter with the spinach more. I also put in more ice this time, so it was pretty frosty and delicious. Yum! I’m trying to get rid of the remaining pizza, but being smart about it. Much as I’d love to chow down on all 3 remaining slices, I’m sticking to one tonight and the other two will be tomorrow’s lunch.

It’s all about moderation, folks :)

Now, where is my bed…. x_x

C25K: Week 4, Day 1

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 20:32:47 -0500

It’s getting REAL up in here, y’all!

Today the program had me run a total of 14 minutes - 2 intervals of 3:00 and 2 intervals of 4:00. The first 3 weren’t the worst ever. I thought I was going to die a little bit during the second 4:00 interval, but it wasn’t til the last run - 3:00 - that I was in some serious PAIN. My cushiony socks were not doing shit for my poor ickle baby feet. Ouchy!

Three days of being mostly off my feet will do that, I suppose. But hey - I did it! I ran for 14 freaking minutes, which is incredible. I am continually amazed and excited at how much my body can actually do when I put it to the test. Goddamn, was I ever covered in sweat though. Dripping.

It was pretty gross.

My triceps hate me this morning.

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 09:42:40 -0500

Oh my lord, lifting my water bottle is an EFFORT. Good thing tonight I’m just running xD

midnightbeliever: Pan-seared chicken breast with sweet corn and...

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 08:44:08 -0500

midnightbeliever:

Pan-seared chicken breast with sweet corn and edamame succotash. I am such a good housewife to myself.

Dinner from last night. Sadly I can’t get instagram to choose which of my tumblr blogs it posts to.

2/10 Recap FOOD/DRINK Breakfast: 1 slice of pepperoni...

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 19:58:06 -0500

2/10 Recap

FOOD/DRINK

Breakfast: 1 slice of pepperoni pizza
Midmorning Snack: Zone almond cranberry bar
Lunch: 1 slice of pepperoni pizza
Afternoon Snack: Green protein shake
Dinner: 4 oz. pan-seared chicken breast + herbed corn and edamame succotash with feta cheese
Dessert/Evening Snack: 1/2 cup green apple sorbet
Drinks: 48 oz. water; 1 cup coconut mocha coffee w/ 1 tbsp Almond Joy creamer

EXERCISE

100 jumping jacks
30-minute full-body mat workout
60-minute full-body dumbbell workout

THOUGHTS

I caved to moroseness and ordered pizza last night, so I tried to eat some of it today while still being smart about it - one slice in the morning, the next inbetween my first 50 jumping jacks and 35-minute workout. I used the yoga mat my mom bought me for Christmas for the first time and loved having the added stability/support.

After I finished working out/watching Doctor Who, I set about cleaning up my kitchen and doing some prep for the week ahead. I split my bananas in half and sliced 3 of them then put those slices into baggies for the freezer so I can use them in my protein shakes later this week. I also measured out 4 cups of spinach and bagged it for the same purpose.

Then I trimmed, seasoned and cooked chicken and made this awesome Herbed Corn and Edamame Succotash recipe that I will *definitely* be making again. Half the chicken went into the succotash for my dinner, the rest will be saved for a salad. I also made an AWESOME balsamic vinaigrette dressing (loosely based on this recipe). My focus this week will be to get back into the habit of cooking EVERY night with leftovers for the next day and getting in 3 runs + 3 strength sessions each week with 1 active rest day.

Bicycle crunches are the devil's invention.

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 14:04:10 -0500

Allowing myself 30 more minutes of being a lazy butt

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 11:57:55 -0500

Then I’m gonna turn on Doctor Who and do some squats, jumping jacks, pushups, upper body strength and ab work.

And after I’m gonna clean up my kitchen and prep this week’s meals!

2/6 Recap

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 20:37:57 -0500

Blah blah busy blah blah accountability blah.

FOOD/DRINK

Breakfast: 6 oz. raspberry Greek yogurt, 2 clementines
Midmorning Snack: Small apple, ~2 tablespoons peanut butter coconut spread
Lunch: Quinoa black bean chili & 1/2 roastbeef sandwich with carmelized onions, mushrooms, swiss cheese and oh-so-terrible-but-omg-delicious horseradish mayo. Divine.
Afternoon Snack: Carrot sticks & hummus
Dinner: Blueberry protein shake
Dessert/Evening Snack: Zone Perfectly Simple cranberry almond bar
Drinks: Mucho water; 1 cup of coffee with 1 tbsp. sugarfree caramel-vanilla creamer; venti skinny Starbucks vanilla spice latte

EXERCISE

Week 3, Day 3 of C25K - 30 minutes total; 10 minutes running

THOUGHTS

Yeahhhhhh! Perfect day was super freaking perfect. I was going to make a chicken salad for dinner, but my chicken hadn’t thawed and I was super hungry so I made a beefed up protein shake instead. Mmm. The latte from Starbucks ate a lot of calories (250) but it was free and sooooo delicious.

As I’ve already posted, my workout was awesome. Gonna get a nice core & upper body strength workout in tomorrow after the grocery store. Reallllly hoping this IUD thing doesn’t knock me out for more than a couple of days.

C25K: Week 3, Day 3

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 19:39:32 -0500

After a full week off, I was nervous that I might have lost some momentum and find it difficult to pick up where I was - not so! So there were parts of the workout that were difficult. Today’s running was 2 intervals of 2:00 and 2 intervals of 3:00 - I am doing pretty good on 2:00 intervals now. Score! The first 3:00 was a BITCH, esp. the last 1.5 but I pushed my ass through it and after when I was done and not dead I pretty much told my brain/body to shut the hell up and work.

I feel amazing afterward! Will definitely be sore tomorrow, but that’s expected. I’m also beginning to get comfortable running at a slightly faster pace. Next week I’m gonna try bumping it up on the shorter intervals to 4.0 - still slow compared to what most people run at, but honestly I think the pacing also has a lot to do with my legs being so short. I just can’t make them move much faster! All will come with time, I’m sure.

Taking Friday off (again) b/c I’m getting an IUD that afternoon and will undoubtedly be lying on the couch in slight misery the rest of the day.