4:04 pm - Tue, Dec 17, 2013
3 notes

Small Goals: 12/16-12/22

  • 3 cardiovascular workouts (30 minute minimum)
  • 2 strength workouts (upper + lower body)
  • Track calories every day
  • Limit 1 beer per social occasion (2 this week)
  • 7 minimum hours of sleep every night

So far I’m doing pretty well. Yesterday I did the elliptical for 15 minutes… intended on 30 but I started having really bad pain in the centers of my feet and had to stop. I did 50 crunches and 40 jumping jacks after to make up for lots momentum. Today I’m going to do 15 minutes of cardio + a full body weight circuit after work.

Have been tracking my food on MFP. We have a bunch of gourmet delivery diet meals here at work which is helping, but I am hitting up the grocery store tonight to stock up on fresh fruit&veg, yogurt, and dinner stuff.

I’m going out with friends Thurs night for dinner+dancing. If I drink at all, I’m limiting myself to one beer or one mixed drink. Same with Saturday when I go to a pool party (yes, all you betches in cold climates can be jelly of my warm weather xD).

Sleep has been the big one but I’m averaging 7 hours from Sunday and last night. Tonight I might try for *gasp* MORE!

3:47 pm
8 notes

Starting Again: 2014 and Beyond

Betcha thought I disappeared? Well, I sort of did. It’s been a solid six months since I moved to California. Before the move, I wasn’t doing so hot on sticking to a healthful life, but I was at least making efforts - I was going to the gym several times a week to run, working towards my 5k, and trying to eat well. The 5k was a really proud moment in my life, even if I didn’t really run as well as I wanted to (or run most of it). I still did it - a huge step.

Then I moved across the country and left my friends, family and routines for someplace new. I’ve spent the last half of the year creating a new life out here, and it’s been really good. I’ve made some incredible friends, started a job that honest to god fulfills me, and discovered a side to love that I never knew existed. I have changed immensely on the inside. I’ve found a peace with myself and my body and who I am. I’ve created a new me: I am known as Joy to most of my friends here, a nickname that has replaced my given name and which I try to embody in everything I do.

But on the flipside, I have let things slide when it comes to my health. So many huge changes in a short span of time coupled with my inability to find full-time employment the first four months of life on the West Coast sunk me into a depression that made it difficult to feel motivated. I started going out every night with friends to counter the intense loneliness from being home all day, every day. Now that I am employed, it’s been a challenge to find balance between work, my hectic social life, and taking care of myself. I am making efforts now to care for me, starting with my mental health and now expanding to my physical health.

I love my body. I don’t think I should feel ashamed to be a fat woman. I think my thighs and ass are delicious, my curves incredibly sexy. But my chin has a chin and I am not fitting so well into most of the clothes that haven’t been purchased in recent months. More importantly, I don’t feel awesome. I miss the days when I felt strong and capable - I want that back. I want to rebuild my strength, regain my physicality. I don’t want to lose weight or be smaller: that is not the goal.

Will I lose weight and become smaller? Yes, if I stick to this and hit it as hard as I did three years ago at the start of 2011. Will I ever reach the 123.6 lb. mark that the BMI chart insists is the optimum for my body? Nah. I mean, I could. But I don’t want to. I like being plump. But I want to be plump and powerful. I want to ride a bike and climb mountains and kick ass. I’d like to be somewhere under the 200 lb. mark, rather than hovering close to 300.

And so I am bringing back this blog, which was so instrumental in helping me keep to my goals a few years ago. I’m happy to see I kept a decent amount of followers during my absence and I hope many more will stick around for this ride. 2014 is going to be a great year, I can feel it in my bones.


1:14 pm - Thu, Aug 29, 2013
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10am and I’m awake, downing coffee, ready to hit the elliptical in my sexy workout clothes. Woo! Sore muscles from yesterday won’t stop me.

2:08 am
1 note

Update on the week so far…

Monday some of my friends came over and we swam a bit. I did about 6 laps around the pool, which was tough but fun. Then Dan and I went to the gym for a training session. We were late (my fault!) so the workout wasn’t as great as it could’ve been but we worked leg + core and I definitely felt good after.

Tuesday I had a bit of a depression day and did absolutely nothing. Bah.

Wednesday (aka today) we hit the gym again for our second training session of the week and hoooly hell! Warmed up with cardio then did arms + back stuff, including the assisted pull-up station which I’d never used before in my life. When I gripped the handles and lowered down, you could hear a “click-click-click-click” as my spine straightened out. Eik! Finished off with 20 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.

Trainer wants me to work on my cardio since my resting heart rate is a bit high and I hit my target heart rate too soon. So I’m going to try getting up on mornings we don’t have training and do 45 minutes on the elliptical in the apartment fitness center then swim later in the day for 30 minutes.

Also trying to be more mindful what I’m eating. Tracking ALL food on weight watchers and making better choices. I don’t want my eating to derail me, especially since with this much exercise so long as I watch my intake I’m going to start dropping fairly fast. :D

I feel really in control of this element of my life right now. Not so much anything else. The job situation has become dire and I generally feel rather lost. So this is a good thing to focus on and work toward. I know I can master this.

Thirty pounds ‘til my next goal. Gonna update my goals and stats page soon, maybe rework some of the elements of my blog altogether.

And more updates. I promise, more updates more often.

Right now… bedtime, so I can get up at 9 and work out. Hoorah!

1:06 pm - Mon, Aug 26, 2013
2 notes

-2.2 lb. for the week, -6.3 lb. overall

I’ve been a bad, bad weight loss blogger and haven’t been posting. Eip! But I am getting tons of exercise, eating fairly well, annnnd clearly making progress. I’m now at 285.7 - so basically, 30 lb. shy of my first mini goal weight. I want to be back to where I was this time a year ago because damn, I looked good. Case in point:

We are FINALLY working with a trainer we like at the gym. Took a while, but he’s really young and eager to work with us and for the time being we decided it’d be fun if he trained me and Dan together. Our combined competitiveness fuels each other to push harder than I think we would alone, plus we don’t have the annoying prospect of one person having to plod on the treadmill or something for a half hour while the other trains.

Aside from our first training session with him last Wednesday, which made ALL of my muscles super sore for a couple of days, I’ve been swimming a bunch and taking long walks during the day. I’d like to get down a couple more pounds for next week’s trip to Ohio - it’d be nice to hear people say they can see a change in me (besides the obvious tan and sun bleaching of my hair haha).

3:57 am - Tue, Aug 6, 2013
2,470 notes
Most quit when progress is slow and never fully grasp that progress, is still progress. This is what defines the strong willed from the weak.

(via psych-facts)

This is so true. I found myself feeling disappointed - DISAPPOINTED - because I “only” lost 1.2 lb. this past week. Then I smacked myself in the face and said gurrrrrrl, come off it. You rock! Because any progress is still progress.

(via vegfreak)

10:25 pm - Mon, Aug 5, 2013
4 notes

Another 1.2 lb. bite the dust!

That’s what a week of walking, sweating and shimmying will do to ya - despite all the insane deliciousness I ate. God bless Lollapalooza.

Back to California now and back to the grind… except I may start working in a real office again soon, if I get the job I’m interviewing for tomorrow. *fingers crossed* That’ll be a good way to get into a real routine. But I’m doing pretty darn good so far (:

6:24 pm - Mon, Jul 29, 2013
3 notes

Update: 3.5 lb. lost!

Ohhh yeah! I was 292 when I started working out and eating right again 2 weeks from yesterday. As of this morning, I am 288.5 :)

Being off this medication is like having a haze lifted off of me. I feel faster, stronger, more in control of myself. My body is responding the way it *should* to exercise and healthy eating. I’ve been running again in our little gym along with some light weight training and core work. We’ve also just been doing a lot - long walks on the beach, hiked a gigantic hill Saturday night after seeing The Postal Service at UC Berkeley’s Greek Theater. I take a walk every day around my amazing neighborhood and meet cats and dogs and drink in the beautiful architecture and plant life.

We are careful when we eat out and even more careful at home. I still indulge. Why not? But I try to indulge only once a day, not all day every day. Yesterday it was a scoop of bourbon and praline gelatto. Today it was a latte (but still with nonfat milk). I work it off with sex and walking and happiness. I still feel distressed at the sight of the extra weight - my double chin is back and it’s insanely hard to see my collar bones when a year ago they were visible. But! I know in a few weeks’ time if I keep up at this rate all of that is going to reverse itself.

Just in time for my FAVE fashion season: autumn <3

7:19 pm - Fri, Jul 19, 2013
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7.17 - 7.18

Wednesday was BAD. I had trouble staying conscious all day and felt so horrible. We bought movie tickets for a 10pm showing but ended up coming back after dinner because I felt so bad and was shaking and shivering and just blah. I went to bed at 9:30 that evening and woke up feeling quite a lot better yesterday.

Dan thinks I’ve been dehydrated, which could definitely be the case - I tend to get focused when I work and forget about drinking and eating. So we made a point to each have 16 oz. of water every hour-two hours yesterday and I felt immensely better. Good enough to go out to a local bar and do a little mingling and dancing last night ^_^

I tracked all but dinner on Weds and plum forgot to do tracking of any kind yesterday on WW. Oops! Getting back into the habit of logging everything I eat is tough!

Today since I’ve felt well I have been focusing on getting some stuff done around the house. I’m gonna start hydrating now and in an hour go to the complex fitness center and do a little workout. I’m actually missing running! So I think I might buy the Zombies, Run! app and start using it. And then get a little weight lifting in for good measure, too. Nothing enormous and nothing over the top - just a steady workout to get back into the habit of things.

And I promise a real recap of my day tonight!

3:04 am - Wed, Jul 17, 2013
1 note

Dizzy, dizzy girl {7.16.13 Recap}

So wishing my head would stop feeling so woozy all the time x_x Bleh.


  • BREAKFAST - 1/2 cup old-fashioned rolled oats w/ 1/2 tbsp. chia seeds and 1 tbsp. pumpkin seeds; 1 cup blueberries, 1/2 cup raspberries, 1 nectarine
  • LUNCH - “Santa Cruz” burrito (organic frozen thingy)
  • DINNER - 12 oz. NY strip steak; grilled peaches
  • SNACKS - String cheese; pop chips (2 servings); Salted Caramel + Chocolate cupcake from a local bakery


  • Nada, too dizzy.


The cupcake wasn’t the best choice, but I had the points and was craving something, so I decided today would be treat day for the week. I am OBSESSED with how delicious my breakfast was, y’all. Can’t wait to make the same thing again tomorrow morning! Dinner was good, we’re sticking with meat only at dinner time and I think it’s a happy medium for both of us. Dan definitely couldn’t go full veg and I’d miss chicken a little too much. Wish I could have managed some activity but the dizziness was oppressive today. Sitting up was difficult and laying down made no difference. It was all of my effort to finish my work today :(

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